Cosi Cosa

The latest twist in Mr. Trump’s immigration policy comes at the end of a week in which he appeared to have shifted his deportation policy, which helped drive his popularity in the GOP primary season. Mr. Trump, in Fox News interviews aired Tuesday and Wednesday, appeared to reverse himself, saying he wouldn’t seek to deport undocumented immigrants. Then on CNN on Thursday, he muddled the issue further, saying “there is a very good chance the answer could be ‘yes,’” he would deport them.

(from the Wall Street Journal)

When Trump hollers “Yes!” he means “No!”

He changes his mind with gusto.

Like his hair in the wind

his best options have thinned;

and soon he’ll have no place to go. 

Medical Mix Ups

Of the 7,613 mix-ups studied, 91% were caught before patients were harmed. Two were fatal and others might have been. One patient was given another’s hypertension medication, at 10 times the usual dose. A patient who wasn’t supposed to eat or drink was given the wrong meal tray and nearly choked. And an infant was given expressed breast milk from the wrong mother and was infected with hepatitis.

from the Wall Street Journal 

My doctor called me Mrs. Jones/took an x-ray of my bones/put me on a saline drip/said I had an ingrown lip/lost my chart and wristband too/sent my meds to Timbuktu/took my tonsils out and then/called me Mrs. Jones again/I was feeling so distraught/I’d come in just for my flu shot! 

The Golden State

One recent client sold his condominium in west Los Angeles and discovered he had the money to buy two new homes in Dallas—one for him and one for his daughter.

from the Wall Street Journal 

The Golden State caters to those 

as rich as the ancient pharaohs. 

If you don’t don’t make cash

like fresh corned beef hash,

then over the state line you goes . . . 

 

Canned Soup

Progresso has seen a lot of regression this year, as sales of the soup plunged and its maker, General Mills, decided to close the brand’s first plant.

from the Minneapolis Star Tribune 

Canned soup is for lazy old coots

who do not wear ties or new suits.

We love chicken noodle,

a bit of stale strudel,

and Jello with lots of canned fruits.

The Madison Avenue Type

The lack of transparency that plagues the advertising industry was on stark display this week. Revelations that Facebook Inc.overestimated by up to 80% the average time people spent watching video ads on its platform shocked the media and marketing world.

from the Wall Street Journal

The Madison Avenue type

still swindles the world with his hype.

His charges online

would make Bill Gates whine —

for nothing more than windy tripe. 

 

Reporters are pussycats

Throughout the 2016 presidential race, the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns have decried the news media for treating them too harshly. Americans, however, don’t seem to agree. Only a slim minority thinks the news media’s coverage of Trump and Clinton is too tough, a view the public also held in previous general elections.

In fact, more Americans say the media are too easy on Trump than said so of the Republican nominees in both 2012 and 2008.

from the Pew Research Center 

Reporters are pussycats, no?

Their toughness is only a show.

They make Donald Trump

 a kindly old frump,

and Hillary seem like Thoreau. 

 

There was a young man from Sorrento

ROME — One ad pictured a woman holding an hourglass next to the words: “Beauty has no age limit. Fertility does.” Another portrayed a pair of baby shoes wrapped in a ribbon of the Italian flag. Yet another showed a man holding a half-burned cigarette: “Don’t let your sperm go up in smoke,” it read.

They were part of a government effort to promote “Fertility Day” on Sept. 22, a campaign intended to encourage Italians to have more babies. Instead, the ads set off a furor, were denounced as being offensive, and within days were withdrawn.

What they did succeed in doing, however, was to ignite a deeper and lasting debate about why it is that Italy has one of the lowest birthrates in the world, and what can be done about it.

from the New York Times 

There was a young man from Sorrento

whose love life was played very lento.

“A baby” said he

“I’d rather not see.”

“They are an expensive memento.” 

Ugly Produce

Foodies and environmentalists have long appreciated the beauty of three-legged carrots and plums with proboscises, and have created a quirky market niche. Now ugly produce is hoping to find an eager new audience in the last place it was ever welcome: the aisles of major supermarkets.

from the Wall Street Journal

If people were produce, then I

would not feel so downcast and shy.

My paunch and flat feet

would look very sweet;

my liver spots would make gals sigh.