From the New York Times: “France’s strict legal separation of religious and civic life — a legacy of the French Revolution known as laïcité — formally discourages, and in some situations expressly bans, public religious expression.”
O, those French! Not only do they have the best food on the face of the planet, but they also know the best way to make your job a pleasant, quiet experience.
Just think – no evangelists holding prayer meetings in the conference room; no human sacrifices during lunch (if you happen to have some ancient Aztecs as co-workers); and, best of all, no steady clicking of rosaries that could drive a wooden post to scream in agony.
Aren’t you tired of the miasma of creed and cult that is today’s American workplace? I sure am! You can hardly throw a rock when at work without hitting a Jehovah’s Witness or a devotee to Thugee. I get so many religious tracts placed on my desk at night by pious janitors that I’ve gotten a hernia carrying them all to the waste basket in the morning.
And all those angels and demons jockeying for my soul while I am trying to finish the fourth quarter report. Oy vey!
So I’m hoping Obama will unleash the secular security team prior to leaving office – let those babies range around the country stamping out faith, hope and charity in the factory and at the office.
Americans deserve nothing less . . .
Should you wear a crucifix or hajib on the job
You’re likely to be strung up by a scandalized French mob.
Do not spin a prayer wheel where the boss can see you clearly,
Otherwise you’ll pay the price of joblessness quite dearly.
Have you Buddhist texts tattooed upon your brawny arms?
Nothing whatsoever will prevent severe alarms.
To read the Book of Mormon while you are taking a small break
Will cause HR to tie you up and burn you at the stake.
But if you show up drunk to work, well that is really fine
(as long as you’ve been drinking a good solid red French wine).
And if you spend your office time asleep at your computer
You likely will be offered better pay by a recruiter.
So heed this warning well if you a Gallic job possess –
Keep your god at home to gain remarkable success.