The government shows great aplomb

Recent initiatives by technology companies to push back against Islamic State’s social-media messaging highlight a sobering fact: The U.S. government’s battle on that front has mostly sputtered.

(from the Wall Street Journal)

The government shows great aplomb

whenever it drops a large bomb.

But when they try spam

on Instagram,

the terrorists don’t even salaam.

The Fed warns of duplicity

The scam is the latest twist in an epidemic of fraud targeting taxpayers. According to the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration, an IRS watchdog, it has received more than 1.7 million complaints from people reporting phone calls from fraudsters impersonating IRS agents since October, 2013. More than 8,800 victims have paid more than $47 million as a result of these scams.

from the Wall Street Journal 

 

The Fed warns of duplicity,

of thieves robbing us constantly.

The IRS knows

of crooks on their toes — 

it takes one to know one, you see. 

 

I heard an old lady exclaim

Airport terminals are getting longer for bigger planes, more gates and extra retail space. Connecting flights are sometimes located farther away because airlines have spread operations over more terminals. In Philadelphia, that means a literal walk over the county line. And in Chicago, Newark, N.J., and Orlando, Fla., moving walkways have been removed recently to make room for seats, bars and restaurants.

Several airports now report their longest potential walks stretch more than a mile, with some much longer.

from the Wall Street Journal 

I heard an old lady exclaim

“This long walk is sure not a game!”

“I may miss my flight”

“since it takes all night”

“to get there — and I’m going lame!” 

The smiley face is so passe

It’s all part of what I call the “moji of everything.” It’s hard to find an object that hasn’t been emojified. Popemoji? It’s there. Love cats? Good luck picking just one sticker pack. Prefer dogs? It’s more a question of which breed you want.

from Sara Germano 

The smiley face is so passe/it will not last another day/emojis fill my texting text/and now I’m asking “What is next?/Bitmojis will allow me to/give my meme a new hairdo/or build a body so unique/that all the girls will say “He’s chic!/I think this moji mindset ends/by making faces and not friends!

happy-face-clip-art-smiley-face-clipart-3-clipartcow-1

The self-driving crate

Six of 10 people surveyed said they knew little or nothing about autonomous vehicles. Only 41% of those surveyed were familiar with the term “autonomous vehicles” and many—especially baby boomers—didn’t think they’d live to see a world where all vehicles are fully self-driving.

 from the Wall Street Journal
It looks like the self-driving crate
has reached a remarkable state.
The only canker
is that your banker
will charge an unconscionable rate. 

Cosi Cosa

The latest twist in Mr. Trump’s immigration policy comes at the end of a week in which he appeared to have shifted his deportation policy, which helped drive his popularity in the GOP primary season. Mr. Trump, in Fox News interviews aired Tuesday and Wednesday, appeared to reverse himself, saying he wouldn’t seek to deport undocumented immigrants. Then on CNN on Thursday, he muddled the issue further, saying “there is a very good chance the answer could be ‘yes,’” he would deport them.

(from the Wall Street Journal)

When Trump hollers “Yes!” he means “No!”

He changes his mind with gusto.

Like his hair in the wind

his best options have thinned;

and soon he’ll have no place to go. 

Gennifer Flowers

A closet as full of old bones

as Clinton’s has many unknowns.

But even the glowers

of Gennifer Flowers

won’t topple Clintonian thrones. 

 

Medical Mix Ups

Of the 7,613 mix-ups studied, 91% were caught before patients were harmed. Two were fatal and others might have been. One patient was given another’s hypertension medication, at 10 times the usual dose. A patient who wasn’t supposed to eat or drink was given the wrong meal tray and nearly choked. And an infant was given expressed breast milk from the wrong mother and was infected with hepatitis.

from the Wall Street Journal 

My doctor called me Mrs. Jones/took an x-ray of my bones/put me on a saline drip/said I had an ingrown lip/lost my chart and wristband too/sent my meds to Timbuktu/took my tonsils out and then/called me Mrs. Jones again/I was feeling so distraught/I’d come in just for my flu shot! 

The Golden State

One recent client sold his condominium in west Los Angeles and discovered he had the money to buy two new homes in Dallas—one for him and one for his daughter.

from the Wall Street Journal 

The Golden State caters to those 

as rich as the ancient pharaohs. 

If you don’t don’t make cash

like fresh corned beef hash,

then over the state line you goes . . . 

 

Canned Soup

Progresso has seen a lot of regression this year, as sales of the soup plunged and its maker, General Mills, decided to close the brand’s first plant.

from the Minneapolis Star Tribune 

Canned soup is for lazy old coots

who do not wear ties or new suits.

We love chicken noodle,

a bit of stale strudel,

and Jello with lots of canned fruits.