North Korea and China Tout Ties at Military Parade

Xi Jinping to Kim Jong Un: We love you, pal, so much

(except when you need financing — and then we will go Dutch).

Keep those vile Americans a-trembling in their boots;

we know that with the Taiwanese they must be in cahoots!

Fire off a rocket to give Uncle Sam a fit.

Tell the South Koreans they’re a pile of stinking . . . spit.

We’ll back you up, unless, of course, you launch some kind of nuke —

at which point we will cut you off and say you are a kook.

All power to the people, to the workers who are carving

a better world for Asia (and who do not mind some starving)!

dragon

Insuring my posh, posh wardrobe.

I need insurance right away for all of my apparel

before the moths and mildew render all of it quite sterile.

I’ve spent a fortune on wardrobe, the hautest couture, really —

spun and woven solely by a tribe that speaks Swahili.

There are vests of chamois leather, fairly glistening with myrrh.

Neckties made of hair from caterpillars in white fir.

Belts made up of cramp bark and a pair of cufflinks which

were done by Andy Warhol as he channeled German kitsch.

It’s worth a dadblast fortune, and if AIG won’t play —

I’ll put the whole kaboodle up for sale on darn eBay!

from an article in the Wall Street Journal 

In the USA, A Woman Earns 81.9 Cents for Every Dollar a Man Earns

Women earned 81.9 cents for every dollar a man earned in the second quarter of the year, 2015.

Labor Department data out this week showed the pay gap between men and women but little changed, or even taking a step back. Full-time women workers earned almost 84 cents for every dollar a man earned in the second quarter of last year,2014.

Overall, median weekly earnings of all full-time workers were up 2.7% from a year earlier to $801. Men got bigger paychecks, with wages and salaries going up 3.4% from a year earlier to $886. And for women, the increase was a more modest 1.4% to $726.

One item that hasn’t changed much recently is the difference in pay between genders. Women have been slowly closing the pay gap with men, and by some calculations may need another twenty years to achieve equal pay. The problem has caught the attention of the White House.

(Wall Street Journal)

AND SO TO VERSE:

Men get more than women; that is a fact of life.

It isn’t very decent, and causes lots of strife.

If women want more money, they ought to act like men —

crow just like the rooster and not lay like the hen.

hen-and-rooster-md

Damn the Spitballs, Full Speed Ahead!

Life is so uncertain, with foul balls and splintered bats —

a fan could get his brains knocked out while sitting on his slats. 

Munching on a hotdog, with a cup of ice cold cheer,

the loyal zealot never knows what might land in his beer.

But like the Navy’s Farragut, we say “Full speed ahead!”

“And damn the spitballs that at any time could knock us dead!”  

from an article in the New York Times

damn the torpedoes

First the Spitball, Now the Hackball!

Stealing bases in a game is perfectly all right;

but hacking just ain’t cricket — not for even one small byte.

Not since 1919 has our National Pastime

had to deal with such a large and ignominious crime!

The lust for algorithms has the Cardinals betrayed,

and like the errant spitball from the true path they have strayed.

No more will Mom and Apple Pie and Baseball be the same;

for now the upstart soccer leagues will supersede the game!

from a story in the New York Times 

spy

 

 

At 50, Major League Draft Has Sharpened Its Focus

The Rule 4 Draft in Baseball has an anniversary —

it’s fifty years since Baseball escaped from treachery.

Before that time the teams were at each other’s throats, egad!

Those with money bought the talent of each nervy lad.

The other teams were left with just the dregs to squabble o’er;

spavined kids or muscle-bound or just plain mean and sore.

Today the system is genteel; the bidding wars have ceased.

(Of course without an agent a poor kid can still get fleeced!)

from a story in the New York Times

Derek Jeeter
Derek Jeeter