The NBA Team That’s Bullish on the Opera

From the Wall Street Journal:   “This season, for the first time, Gasol and Mirotic both have been starters for the Chicago Bulls. But around town, they’ve become known as something else: the city’s biggest patrons of the arts. Gasol and Mirotic are regulars at the opera house. They have been backstage guests of the symphony orchestra. Officials from the city’s highbrow cultural institutions say they can’t remember professional athletes coming to any of their performances—let alone as many as these Bulls.”

Okay youse guys, now listen up — I think we caught a break,

if we can dribble with the ball  like they do in Swan Lake.

Portis, try for bank shots — pop up like a freakin’ genie,

while the P.A. system plays us something by Rossini.

Now Gasol, bump the cutter ev’rytime you get the chance,

and Bairstow watch that pivot foot — this ain’t a morris dance!

Hey, Brooks and Jimmy Butler, you two open up a spot

for Zubin Mehta to come out and try a granny shot.

Take us all the way up on that great O’Brien route,

and management will take you down to see The Magic Flute.

States Scramble for Drugs Used in Executions, Causing Delays

I am the jolly hangman and I love my work to death.

There’s something satisfying seeing victims gasp for breath.

But interfering bureaucrats have caused a great delay

in sending malefactors to their final judgement day.

There’s lots and lots of chemicals that I can use to fix

my customers for their last trip upon the River Styx.

But think of my frustration when the FDA refuses

to let me mix a cocktail just according to my muses!

Well, there’s no need to worry or pull a longish face — 

I have many other ways existence to erase.

Electric chair and garrote, firing squad or burning stake —

The Grim Reaper and myself never do vacations take.

 The world’s a better place because I do my job so well.

My pension plan is awesome (it’s well-funded down in Hell).

snails

The Chicago Cubs and the Goat Curse.

Of all the imprecations that a baseball team can foment,

the goat curse is the worst of any place or any moment.

Perhaps if ev’ry Cubs fan in the state of Illinois

ate a hot goatburger they might then start to enjoy

a team with such a winning streak that nothing can prevail

to keep it from the Series — not flood, nor drought, nor jail!

The Cubs themselves could eat some goat — if only then to show

that there are other things to eat besides their constant crow.  

 

In the USA, A Woman Earns 81.9 Cents for Every Dollar a Man Earns

Women earned 81.9 cents for every dollar a man earned in the second quarter of the year, 2015.

Labor Department data out this week showed the pay gap between men and women but little changed, or even taking a step back. Full-time women workers earned almost 84 cents for every dollar a man earned in the second quarter of last year,2014.

Overall, median weekly earnings of all full-time workers were up 2.7% from a year earlier to $801. Men got bigger paychecks, with wages and salaries going up 3.4% from a year earlier to $886. And for women, the increase was a more modest 1.4% to $726.

One item that hasn’t changed much recently is the difference in pay between genders. Women have been slowly closing the pay gap with men, and by some calculations may need another twenty years to achieve equal pay. The problem has caught the attention of the White House.

(Wall Street Journal)

AND SO TO VERSE:

Men get more than women; that is a fact of life.

It isn’t very decent, and causes lots of strife.

If women want more money, they ought to act like men —

crow just like the rooster and not lay like the hen.

hen-and-rooster-md

Matthew Dellavedova

The Cleveland Cavs were looking for a miracle to boost

their game from underneath a very rotten chicken roost.

They finally decided on an Aussie, nicknamed Delly —

though he looked too scrawny, there was fire in his belly.

Two years later David Griffin loves the little guy;

and sez he is fair dinkum (while he makes LeBron James cry).

from a story on ESPN

della

 

Joakim Noah

Joakim Noah, he plays basketball.

But that isn’t necessarily all.

He’s Swedish and French, and American too.

His passports are many, his vices quite few.

(Tho down in Gainesville he was in a stew.)

Along with his mother he’s founded a trust

to help children jettison big city rust.

He plays for the Bulls in Chicago, it’s true —

and should be awarded his own cordon bleu.

(But down there in Gainesville they’re still much ado.)

joakim noah