“Southpaw” Movie Reveals New Business Trend: Chinese Investors as Hollywood Moguls.

(Hollywood, CA. July 25. 2015)

from a story in the Wall Street Journal

The boxing movie “Southpaw” released this weekend has an unlikely silent partner: Chinese conglomerate Dalian Wanda Corp.

Wanda paid the nearly thirty million dollar production costs for the Jake Gyllenhaal film. It is being released by Weinstein Co., which is springing for nearly thirty-five million dollars of advertising expenses. The 2 organizations will split any profits.

“They were on the set and involved in production, postproduction, marketing, everything,” said Weinstein boss David Glasser. “They wanted to learn how we do what we do.”

In return, Weinstein is hoping Wanda will see that the movie gains favorable distribution rights in China, where the government grants licenses to only 34 foreign films per year.

“Southpaw” represents one of several gambits Chinese businesses have lately been using to tap into Hollywood moviemaking expertise.

4 recent heads of major Hollywood studios this past year have  started jobs among startups backed by Chinese speculators. These four new companies have gathered commitments worth more than six-hundred-and-sixty million dollars from the Chinese.

They are launching movies amid a tsunami of Chinese investment in the entertainment industry, Silicon Valley technology and other U.S. industries. The companies in China aren’t only looking to turn a profit, those involved in the moves say, but rather to gain know-how in areas where they are not currently considered as global leaders.

AND SO TO VERSE:

I’ve got a little flutter that the Chinese should enjoy;

as certain as the fact that green’s the color of bok choy.

Ripe wooden nutmegs are demanded by consumers now;

if Shanghai wants a piece of it, they’ll get a real cash cow.

I can also offer them the Brooklyn Bridge half-price,

or how about a process that turns gravel into rice?

Why invest in movies when so often they are flops;

I can get you bargain prices on our milkweed crops.

If you think this is a fraud I’m pulling off — you’re right.

It’s payback for their hacking of our data day and night!

 

(L-R) AMY MCADAMS and JAKE GYLLENHAAL star in SOUTHPAW
(L-R) AMY MCADAMS and JAKE GYLLENHAAL star in SOUTHPAW

Woo Got My Social Security?

The long awaited day arrived; I went downtown to say

to the Feds I would collect my Social Security pay.

But they just scratched their heads and bowed, then said “So sorry, please.”

“But your number has been claimed by Wing Lu Woo, an old Chinese!” 

He got it from a hacker who was hired by Beijing

to drain our money so those guys could live just like a king.

So I work, and do not waste my time on fierce harangues —

but I’ll be damned if ever more I eat at P.F. Changs!  

based on a story in the New York Times 

dragon

China in Antarctica

chinesesnowman

There isn’t any reason why the Chinese shouldn’t stake

a claim in cold Antarctica (though their aims are still opaque).

Let them drill an ice core going back a million years;

let ‘em dredge for krill until it floats around their ears.

 

Maybe they will set up shop for others who will come,

with icicles for chopsticks as they eat frozen dim sum.

Considering the need for water pure in old Cathay,

they might just rope an iceberg to make tons of fresh sorbet.

 

I guess they’ll soon have tourists cruising on the Weddell Sea,

snapping shots of penguins for their back home family.

I wonder if my bank account they might investigate;

for it is also frozen and considered desolate . . .

from a story in the New York Times

 

Channeling Groucho Marx.

grouch

If only Groucho Marx were still stalking through the foofaraw of our society today! He might have said some of the following:

  • “Deleted to meet you!”
  • “Silicon Valley? Isn’t that where they do the breast implants?”
  • “Just say the secret keyword . . . “
  • “Why don’t you find yourself a German co-pilot and go mountain climbing?”
  • “My iPhone does everything but have sex – and I hear Apple is working on that . . . “
  • “When it comes to responsibility, I’ve founded my own dynasty – the duck dynasty.”
  • “Road rage is nothing new – only, they used to call it highway robbery.”
  • “I hear China is so polluted that they throw the criminals outside and keep themselves locked up”.
  • “Do I want to see him? Only if it’s through the Hubble Telescope.”
  • “Why tell jokes when telling the truth gets bigger laughs?”
  • “The only conspiracy theory I know about is the one that’s keeping me away from Scarlett Johansson.” (Wiggles eyebrows)
  • “Why should a judge decide who can get married and who can’t? They oughta stick to taking bribes like every other honest politician.”
  • “One day I shot an elephant in my pajamas – the next thing I knew PETA was after me.”
  • “Global warming is a nice theory – but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
  • “I can’t think of when I’ve had a better time – but that’s because I’m getting Alzheimer’s.”
  • “The only difference between a doctor and a mortician is who gets stuck with their bill.” 

The Dollar and the Euro (and the Kip and the Yen).

mcduck

The euro and the dollar have been scuffling for years;

The euro has been winning while the dollar’s been in tears.

Considered such a weakling that it fell below the kip,

It was scorned as nothing more than innocuous bean dip.

 

Financial experts ev’rywhere said dollars were declining

At such a rate that there could never be a silver lining.

The Chinese bought Manhattan with some paltry yuan bills,

And started building mansions in New Hampshire’s rolling hills.

 

But greenbacks are a stubborn tribe, and do not give up easy;

They waited till the Forex market stumbled and went queasy.

Then they beat the snot out of the euro and the yen,

And now the dollar’s pouring gold, and no one’s saying “when”.

 

So take your dollar bills and wave them with your head held high;

There’s nothing in the whole wide world that you cannot now buy.

Go to Europe or Bangkok and let the natives freshen

Up your drink until the next time there’s a steep recession.

 

suggested by a story in BuzzFeed

Ellen Pao

ellenpao

Now it’s time for me to go back to my fam’ly, friends;

To work at my career and hope the brutal saga ends.

The court has rendered verdict and I choose not to appeal;

I think it is undignified to continue with this spiel.

 

Do I think the jury made the right decision – no!

I had cause for action (as the jury sure did know).

I was treated shabby after ending an affair

With a fellow worker who was too much of a square.

 

Silence, now, is golden, and I will no longer litter

The media with my thoughts (excepting maybe Twitter).

I will greet all queries with an oriental smile

(since my husband Buddy is now scheduled for trial).

from a story in the LA Times 

A Message from the Next Dalai Lama.

yellowhat

I’ve had this funny feeling lately that reincarnation

Will make me Dalai Lama for the coming generation.

The current Dalai Lama’s getting on in years, you know;

 When he kicks the bucket I believe I’ll get his glow.

 

No need for monks to go to sacred lakes or dream their dreams;

I’m the boy they’re looking for, without undue extremes.

I’m the 15th guru, and to Zhu Weiqun I’m stating

I’ll wear the yellow hat without your frivolous debating.

 

My reign will be a peaceful one, with colored sand design.

Prayer wheels will keep rolling inside ev’ry Buddhist shrine.

The Communists can rant and rave about my blessed state;

I’ll simply smile upon them as I start to levitate.    

Inspired by a story in the New York Times:  http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/12/world/asia/chinas-tensions-with-dalai-lama-spill-into-the-afterlife.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0

 

The Defective Defector.

guardtower

(Inspired by an article by Choe Sang-Hun)

The USA has always welcomed those with lurid tales.

Of torture for no reason in abominable jails.

Our jaded media wants blood and gore in ev’ry byte;

Paying beau coup bucks for all those ready to recite.

 

We want to be diverted from abuses here at home

Worse than anything they used back there in ancient Rome.

And so when some escapee from a prison camp abroad

Comes to us with wagging tongue we never call him ‘fraud’.

 

Encouraged by our appetite, the refugee may pander

To our lust for outrage with a lack of total candor.

Can you blame him for his ebullient exaggeration,

When we will ignore him if he uses moderation?