The Scruples of a Politician


The scruples of a politician wouldn’t fill a thimble.

Their lack of shame is due to calculations oh so nimble.

They garner so much hubris from their ill-begotten schemes

that they alone bring down their own chimerical regimes.


While kissing all the babies and then shaking ev’ry hand,

they’re funneling great fortunes into Never Never Land.

And when they’re caught red-handed they are cool as ripened cukes,

and do not flinch or even recognize their just rebukes.


With hardened hearts and brazen brow their lips speak splendid words,

and all the while their sense of duty is strictly for the birds.

You won’t get me to run for office — such a thing is daft.

(Unless, of course, there’s chances for a boatload of big graft.)

Ode to People Magazine.


When I am at the groc’ry store to pick up some supplies

I rarely bother with the mags up front – so full of lies.

Of course when I get stuck in line, the cashier comatose,

I peek inside the pages for a titillating dose.


I read of gorgeous movie stars whose love lives are a farce;

Of diet plans with tropic plants that leave one mighty sparse.

And then there’s People magazine, the triumph of pure prattle;

From President to pop star they do trot ‘em out like cattle.


My mother taught me long ago that money spent on trash

Will leave you in the gutter lacking self-respect and cash.

And so whate’er a magazine like People may dish out,

I’d rather buy a pack of gum than pay for printed gout.