North Korea — the Tick-Tock Terrorists.

Well, those crazy North Koreans are up to their old tricks again.

The Wall Street Journal reports the country said through its state mouthpiece, the Presidium of the Supreme People’s Assembly, that it would fix a new time zone, called Pyongyang time, to mark the 70th anniversary of the end of World War Two.

On August 15, all the timepieces in North Korea will be set back 30 minutes.

But let’s not call out the vigilantes to clean their clocks just yet. According to the BBC, any country can change time zones whenever they darn well please, and for any reason they want, balmy or otherwise:

“There is no international body that approves a country’s change of time zone as countries decide for themselves.

In 2011, Samoa changed its time zone to the other side of the international dateline, losing one day, so as to make communication easier with neighbours Australia and New Zealand.

And North Korea is not the only country that has created its own unique time zone.

In 2007, Venezuela decided to turn its clocks back by half an hour as President Hugo Chavez wanted to have a “more fair distribution of the sunrise” to residents.”

Sounds like both Venezuela and North Korea are run by cuckoo clocks, if you ask moi.

Two can play at this game, Pyongyang. I hereby declare that the Torkildson dominions will set all clocks back two hours every morning that coincides with me not feeling like getting out of bed.

Put THAT in your Rolex and smoke it, Kim Jong-un!

 

They say in North Korea that the time has frozen fast;

the minute hand won’t rotate and the hour hand’s harassed.

The past is all they worship and the future is bourgeois;

so the present is an iceberg that will never start to thaw.

 They starve just as they’ve always starved and stay so paranoid

that even Father Time has started getting quite annoyed.

Progress is a dirty word up on the Yalu River —

even sundials are afraid to do much more than quiver. 

alarm-clock

The Expat Diet

Both the Travel Channel and the Food Channel have a lot to answer for.

They have raised traveler’s expectations about all the wonderful food and drink to be found in the far corners of the earth.
Take it from me, a former resident of both Mexico and Thailand, that the culinary glitter wears off after just a few days as a strange eater in a strange land.
It’s true the local beer is always cheap. But it’s also always lukewarm. You have to pour it over ice. And that ruins it for some people.
Street food in countries like Thailand and Mexico is fun to sample. But do yourself a favor the next time you’re tempted to eat from a cart on a busy soi (street) in Bangkok — observe how dishes, bowls and utensils are washed. They ARE washed, no doubt about that — the interesting part is to see how one small tub of water makes do for both washing and rinsing, and is never changed during the long, hot day and into the sultry evening.
One last thought . . . Third World countries may be big into freshness and organic, but that means they typically use night soil.
If you’ve ever sampled a piece of tripe that was not quite cleaned enough, you know what I mean . . .
AND SO TO VERSE:

 

The food overseas is amazing; it’s spicy, exotic and raw.

The food overseas is inviting — it may take you all day to gnaw.

An expat who isn’t too choosy can feast on all sorts of strange buns.

But if he ain’t careful he’ll wind up with such a bad case of the runs.

The food overseas never costs much — that is if you eat like the folk

who live in that country. Believe me, a Big Mac is just a sad joke.

I will not eat bugs or weird fungi, not even if locals insist.

3 things that an expat should not do are eat crap, complain, or be kissed.

durian

Talking will get you a good job?

To get to know another person well, you gotta hear ’em.

Emails cannot do the job — in fact, you oughta fear ’em.

Those pear-shaped tones do more for your career than any text;

in fact, the written word will make your job search really vexed!

You can talk your way into a dream job without sweat;

but if you’re sending resumes your prospects are all wet.

from a story in the New York Times

shouting_loud_body

Tiger Woods

 

The U.S. Open watches Tiger Woods in cold disdain.

His score keeps going up while his prestige goes down the drain.

Celebrities who flounder are assigned a special doom

and sent to scrub the toilets in the Media’s restroom. 

from an article in the New York Times 

tiger woods

Golf

Anyone who thinks of Golf as sport is pixilated.

It is a form of torture by the Scots anciently created.

The rules are arbitrary and the greens are full of bunkers.

You’re in the dark as much as if you were aimless spelunkers.

I’ve never played a round that didn’t end in contratemps.

No golfer at the clubhouse ever sings a grateful psalm.