The Craftsman and the Artisan

The craftsman and the artisan are suspect saboteurs;

I wouldn’t put it past them to distribute cheap brochures.

What makes them spurn the 9 to 5 quotidian regime?

I do not like the way their eyes are focused and agleam.

These artists and creative types disrupt the status quo.

Put them on assembly lines — their discontent will slow.

They have no use for teamwork, and that is really why

I do not like them (plus their work I can’t afford to buy!)

antiquewoodworkingtools

 

Hackers Target Users of Adultery Website Ashley Madison

(Toronto, Canada. July 20, 2015) —

The parent corporation of Ashley Madison, a dating website aimed at those looking for extramarital romance, confirmed today that its systems were hacked by an intruder who threatens to release the real names and personal preferences of  millions of the site’s users unless it shuts down immediately.

The hackers claim they have account holders’ names, addresses and telephone numbers.

The website has more than 37 million users, past and present.

Although the intruders, who call themselves the “Impact Team,” released the identities of some purported Ashley Madison users Sunday night, no new data was released today and the website remained up and running, or, as one anonymous company executive called it: “Adultery as usual.”

WSJ.com

AND NOW TO VERSE:

 

Seems to me we’ve gotten awful lazy if we need

a website to instruct us on the sins we want to breed.

But self-sufficient reprobates are rare today, I guess —

the internet is wanted for adulterous caress. 

The folly of it all is that when your data is inputted,

there’s a good chance all your privacy will be kaputted

devil

 

Cate Blanchett’s Lesbian Confession

Cate Blanchett
Cate Blanchett

 

When interviewing superstars it’s always a safe bet

they’ll have a ‘revelation’ for the journalistic set.

Cate Blanchett, now, for instance, has revealed, quite by design,

that in real life for same sex love she has been known to pine.

 

This bombshell hit the media like phosphorus and air,

causing bloggers to ignite and pull out all their hair.

She’s getting so much ballyhoo from this one carnal mention

that her latest movie is a hit, without dissension.  

 

Just think instead of lesbian she had portrayed a felon

who busted open someone’s head just like a ripened melon.

No doubt her interviewer would jump up and start to totter,

when she casually mentioned she was wanted for manslaughter.

from a story in the International Business Times

 

Jay Edelson.

ousp

I went to see a fortune-teller in a sideshow tent

To find out what my future holds and where my love life went.

She gazed into her crystal ball and swung her kerchiefed head

To look at me and prophesy “You eat too much white bread.”

 

I asked her how she knew twas so and on the spot she cried

That my debit card revealed my purchases each slide.

Then she took my palm and said I’d be a pastry cook.

When I asked her why she said twas written on Facebook.

 

I gasped and told that witch “Forebear from calumny so bitter!”

She told me all my stocks had crashed; twas just announced on Twitter.

“Your buying patterns are revealed, along with weight and height”

She cackled as she sucked the data from my old blog site.

 

“You fiend!” I yelled in terror, “You’re an eBay-slave and brute.”

“And I shall soon disarm you with a large class action suit!”

At this she only chortled and took off upon her broom,

Shrieking that the Cloud would soon select for me a tomb.

 

I ran to brave Jay Edelson to tell him of my woes;

He promised he’d soon have that imp a-dancin’ on her toes.

But when the trial was over and the settlement was paid

I found I only got enough to buy some lemonade . . .

from a story in the New York Times 

 

Does Digital Technology Bother You?

Democrats will be getting nothing but heat from now on . . .

(Inspired by an article by Claire Cane Miller.)

I do not find technology is stressing me at all.

My iPhone and my Facebook are merely folderol.

My email is enchanting and I tweet without a care;

I wouldn’t trade my tablet for an hour with Voltaire.

 

Those nervous Nellies who complain the Internet invades

All their waking moments are just playing at charades.

Our digital dominion is a blessing, not a curse,

And that is why I’m sending out this sportive little verse.

 

Sharing life events enhances one’s vivacity,

And is proof against the most overt misanthropy.

I wish I could convince all of you worriers and skeptics

The Internet is wonderful (when taking neuroleptics.)

 

A Fig Leaf on a Far Darker Art.

David Carr
David Carr

 

The internet was bound to throw a Goebbels in our face;

Someone who has overcome their ties to truth and grace.

Taking all their bile and whipping up a clamor great,

He (or she) is floating on a sea of boiling hate.

 

I do not wish to name one person to this fetid role;

They may have a mother, or the remnants of a soul.

Perhaps they will repent of all the mischief they have done.

Perhaps they’ll learn the lesson that mud slinging isn’t fun.

 

Or, perhaps more probably, this person I’ll not name

Will find that others just as shabby batten on that fame.

They’ll use that person to expand their own nefarious schemes,

And drag that person down to hell with help from sordid dreams.

 

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wellsfargo

This post is most assuredly NOT brought to you by Wells Fargo.  But if it was, they’d want you to know that they have a great deal of business expertise, that is at your service for a modest fee.

Text Neck

twist

 

My posture is decaying and my neck is always sore,

And I wonder if my cell phone is somehow right at the core.

I do a lot of texting, even when I’m walking round

And once I even fell into a hole right in the ground.

 

But surely modern science wouldn’t let me interface

With devices that could harm the noble human race.

So I tilt my head a lot when I am on the phone;

Surely it is not as heavy as some quarry stone?

 

I will try some exercise to straighten up my spine,

Like maybe flexing neck muscles or walking a straight line.

And if that doesn’t do the trick I know for sure what will;cell

I’ll toss my prepaid cell phone down the nearest rocky hill.

The 12 Step Program of Social Media Anonymous.

chained

  1. We admitted we were powerless over social media – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Webmaster greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a browser as we understood it.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory  of our apps. 
  5. Admitted to Facebook, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our blogsites.
  6. Were entirely ready to have Google remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked LinkedIn to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had tweeted, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause them to unfriend us.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly tweeted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Google as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of its will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a viral awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to geeks and to practice these principles in all our clicks.

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To learn more about the maniac who wrote this, please click HERE.