These are the things that Mike Huckabee Hates

These are the things that Mike Huckabee hates:

long legged mosquitoes and tin roller skates.

Spotlights that waver and soggy french fries,

Tierra del Fuego and soft summer sighs.

These are the things that Mike Huckabee loathes:

tattoos on women and Bill Clinton’s nose.

Podcasts and polecats and worms on a hook,

anything read from a classical book.

These are the things that he really despises:

hammocks in winter and party disguises.

Derbies and momrathes and falsetto voices,

unsweetened tea with unlucky choices.

Here’s what he really and truly dislikes:

people named Walter and loud motorbikes.

 Hickory sticks and Mount Rushmore postcards,

and emails that end “with the kindest regards”.

And Michael Huckabee surely abhors:

Velcro for zippers and tennis indoors.

Gilbert & Sullivan songs that just natter,

and Willie Mays (when he wasn’t a batter).

These are the things he abominates most:

Same sex divorces and cold Melba toast.

Parasols, pumpkins, pistachios too.

Anything painted a nautical blue.

These are the things Mike Huckabee scorns:

beach balls with leaks and black bulls without horns.

Seaweed and fungus and snails amidst dew.

Tourists who have to see old Timbuktu.

And finally these are the things he reviles:

Waffle House omelets and immodest styles.

Fish in a barrel and licorice twists,

and mostly he cannot stand any long lists! 

from an article in the Washington Post