There was an old man from Milwaukee

There are more than 120,000 people in the U.S. waiting for an organ transplant and not enough donors. The dire shortage has led some researchers to consider an unusual solution: They are breeding genetically modified pigs whose organs could be compatible for human transplant.

There was an old man from Milwaukee
whose liver was bloated and balky.
He went to the store
to buy a fine boar;
now he goes ‘oink’ and feels cocky!

There once was a corporate chief

Mulcahy gleaned a crucial career lesson about jerk bosses, an all-too-common species back then and still today. “Learning to work for assholes is a really important thing to do. And surviving them.”

from the Wall Street Journal 

There once was a corporate chief

who liked to give women much grief. 

He thought them inept

and kept them sidestepped;

He now looks like Georgia O’Keefe. 

Georgia O'Keefe
Georgia O’Keefe

The Prayer

I was invited to give the opening prayer at the Provo Municipal Council meeting tonight. Here is what I said:

O God we come before thee now

and pray they spirit will allow

inspiration for our group;

and may we not to gossip stoop.

Help us all be brief tonight

so wisdom will remain in sight.

And bless this council, keep them proof

from those who want to raise the roof.

This we ask in sweet accord 

in the name of Christ our Lord. 

John Fenley at tonight's meeting.
John Fenley at tonight’s meeting.

 

An ad-free world

From the Wall Street Journal:

As the global marketing industry gathers on the French Riviera for the Cannes advertising festival this week, there is an awareness that grabbing consumers’ attention is getting harder and more frustrating across nearly all types of media. People are avoiding print ads, skipping through TV ads and cutting cable subscriptions. Reaching them online is getting tougher, too, between the rising use of ad blockers and the many scams in which fake, computer-generated web traffic lures in ad dollars.

An ad-free world is what I want; ‘twould soothe my aching psyche

to never see another plug for pricey shoes from Nike.

Watches, cars, apparel; I am targeted to buy

more junk than I could ever use if I should never die!

And when I try to block the ads, those advertising devils

find new ways to bring their bilge before me on all levels.

The experts say that revenue from advertising pays

for our social media in many diff’rent ways.

If that’s the case, my resolution deepens and increases

to foil those ads until the loathsome selfie really ceases!

Memorial Day

Each year the cemeteries claim more soldiers as their boarders;

they march into the open grave, just following their orders.

Some are killed in battle, but as many, if not more,

are casualties of conflicts that were over long before.

Addled in their minds and crippled in their body’s health,

they die so much more slowly with a patriotic stealth.

The cemetery does not care how they arrive at all;

each casket represents another worm-welcome windfall.

Oh, when will cemeteries cease to glut themselves on those

who fall because the pride of men works in the deep shadows?

The only way satanic wars can ever really cease

is when the world embraces Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.  

memorial day

When beating your wife in Lahore

From the Washington Post:

The head of a powerful Islamic council is refusing to back down from a proposal that make it legal for husbands to “lightly beat” their wives in Pakistan, despite ridicule and revulsion including calls that maybe the  clerics should stand for their own gentle smack down.

Speaking to reporters, the chairman of the Council of Islamic Ideology, Muhammad Kahn Sherani, said a “light beating” should be a last resort.

When beating your wife in Lahore

try not to make her too sore.

For if she’s not cowed

or wearing a shroud,

she may try to even the score.

Journalism as Content

From Slate:

In journalism-as-content, the typical way to throw together a story is to avoid original research entirely, either by whipping up a sassy spin on another publication’s work or by weaving atomic units of social media like tweets and Tumblr screencaps into a passable narrative. The Guardian recently ran a dispiriting story about how those thinly sourced social media articles often turn out to be false or woefully distorted; journalists quoted in the piece pinned the blame on their management’s bottomless hunger for viral hits. “There is definitely a pressure to churn out stories, including dubious ones, in order to get clicks, because they equal money,” said one of them, who the Guardian didn’t identify by name.

 Reporters who deal in ‘content’
belong in a cage or convent.
A story needs meat
and to stand on its feet,
not play as an Oprah segment.

Just what do Millennials want?

From the New York Times:

Corporations like LinkedIn and Oracle are now hiring an army of “millennial consultants” who charge as much as $20,000 an hour for their expertise on how to manage and market to young people, The Wall Street Journal reported last week. The consultant bonanza follows a trend that has been shaping the business world for the last few years — millennials, executives believe, are coming for every industry, and businesses that do not appease them risk being trampled by them.

“Just what do Millennials want?”

This question promoters does haunt.

Less carbon footprint,

or a volunteer stint,

or maybe a large mobile font?

 

A fanatic at Internet play

From the Washington Post:

It is easy to scoff at the idea of Internet addiction, which is not officially recognized as a disorder in the United States. Medical science has yet to diagnose precisely what is going on in the brains of the addicted, and there is no clear definition of what entails an Internet addiction. Yet a growing number of parents and experts say addiction to screens is becoming a major problem for many young Americans, causing them to drop out of school, withdraw from their families and friends, and complain of deep anxieties in social settings.

A fanatic at internet play

frittered his lifetime away.

So at the last trump

he stayed on his rump

and photoshopped his dossier.

 

 

 

How Women Took Over the World of Running

From the Wall Street Journal:

Women and girls, not long ago an afterthought in distance running, now own it.

They made up 57% of the 17 million U.S. race finishers in 2015, according to industry-backed tracker Running USA. That includes everything from 3.1-mile trots before Thanksgiving dinner to 26.2-mile marathons.

 A woman will run, while a man
chillaxes as much as he can.
The long marathon
is mostly a con
to give men a chance to get tan.