Jesse Ventura

I bought me some new golf balls; they’re Ventura brand, you know.

They never are predictable; you don’t know where they’ll go.

They slice off to the left, and then they slice off to the right;

and sometimes they bounce back at you, and give an awful fright.

If you do not play golf well off to Mexico they fly,

and never will be found until The Donald gives a cry.

They cannot be purchased from a store or catalogue;

they are hand delivered by a dude on Harley hog.

Should you get a hole in one with your Ventura ball,

it will run for president the beginning of next Fall.

But never mention ‘sniper’ in its hearing or you’ll foozle; 

cuz your Ventura ball retains the right of first refusal. 

Jesse Ventura

Jeb Bush: “I Challenge the Culture of the Capital!”

(Tallahassee, Florida. July 20, 2015) —

Jeb Bush has outlined a sweeping and detailed strategy to shrink the size of the federal government and to muzzle the influence of the lobbyists who batten off it, requiring a 10 percent reduction in federal workers, an immediate hiring freeze, a constitutional amendment requiring a balanced budget and a six-year cooling off period before members of Congress can work their wiles as lobbyists.

Conjuring up his record as a budget watchdog during his time as Florida’s governor, Mr. Bush promised to follow that approach during his first term as president if the 2016 election propels him to Washington — a city which he says is a model of unyielding dysfunction.

“The overspending, the overreaching, the arrogance, and the sheer incompetence in that city – these problems have been with us so long that they are sometimes accepted as facts of life,” Mr. Bush proclaimed in Tallahassee. “But a president should never accept them, and I will not.”

Mr. Bush also made a vow to “challenge the whole culture in our nation’s capital.”

(NYTimes.com)

AND NOW TO VERSE:

In Florida the mighty Jeb has thrown the gauntlet down;

calling Washington a sleazy and immoral town.

When he is in the White House he has promised to reform

the bureaucrats and all their parasitic lazy swarm.

I think he just might do it, if elected he could be.

But chances of that happening are quite a nullity.

Two Bushes in the White House we have had — and that’s enough.

I’d rather see Dick Cheney with the presidential cuff!

Jeb Bush

These are the things that Mike Huckabee Hates

These are the things that Mike Huckabee hates:

long legged mosquitoes and tin roller skates.

Spotlights that waver and soggy french fries,

Tierra del Fuego and soft summer sighs.

These are the things that Mike Huckabee loathes:

tattoos on women and Bill Clinton’s nose.

Podcasts and polecats and worms on a hook,

anything read from a classical book.

These are the things that he really despises:

hammocks in winter and party disguises.

Derbies and momrathes and falsetto voices,

unsweetened tea with unlucky choices.

Here’s what he really and truly dislikes:

people named Walter and loud motorbikes.

 Hickory sticks and Mount Rushmore postcards,

and emails that end “with the kindest regards”.

And Michael Huckabee surely abhors:

Velcro for zippers and tennis indoors.

Gilbert & Sullivan songs that just natter,

and Willie Mays (when he wasn’t a batter).

These are the things he abominates most:

Same sex divorces and cold Melba toast.

Parasols, pumpkins, pistachios too.

Anything painted a nautical blue.

These are the things Mike Huckabee scorns:

beach balls with leaks and black bulls without horns.

Seaweed and fungus and snails amidst dew.

Tourists who have to see old Timbuktu.

And finally these are the things he reviles:

Waffle House omelets and immodest styles.

Fish in a barrel and licorice twists,

and mostly he cannot stand any long lists! 

from an article in the Washington Post 

huckabee

The Confederate Flag

The swastika was once revered in Eastern myth and sect;

but now it is reviled — symbolic of bloodshed unchecked.

The same goes for the flag the old Confederates once flew;

that rag deserves obscurity, not to be put on view.

You politicians running for the highest office must

either take it down or deal with our immense disgust. 

from an article in the New York Times 

confederate-flag-1-1400x650