I bought me some new golf balls; they’re Ventura brand, you know.
They never are predictable; you don’t know where they’ll go.
They slice off to the left, and then they slice off to the right;
and sometimes they bounce back at you, and give an awful fright.
If you do not play golf well off to Mexico they fly,
and never will be found until The Donald gives a cry.
They cannot be purchased from a store or catalogue;
they are hand delivered by a dude on Harley hog.
Should you get a hole in one with your Ventura ball,
it will run for president the beginning of next Fall.
But never mention ‘sniper’ in its hearing or you’ll foozle;
cuz your Ventura ball retains the right of first refusal.