From the Wall Street Journal:

“The European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, is gearing up for another run at smashing particles together to unlock the secrets of the universe.

That means anticipating a new round of conspiracy theories that its real aim is to blast open a gateway for apocalyptic demons.”


Mad scientists have given us so many useful things,

from zombies to slick Teflon to a view of Saturn’s rings.

We ought to treat them kindly and not burn their castles down,

or greet their noble ventures with a pitchfork and a frown.

So what if they develop portals to another sphere?

It might just be a land of peace (or maybe have free beer!)

They oughta form a union, those mad eggheads on a spree,

to strike for better Igors and a quicker apogee.

Now if you really want to see experiments insane

just go and visit Congress, where the thinking is chow mein.


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