From the Lompoc Argus

LONDON — It can withstand a spin cycle in a washing machine filled with extremely hot water. It can be eaten by mischievous toddlers or pet hamsters without causing lethal indigestion. It can fend off wily criminals with tiny lettering visible only under a microscope.

Printed for more than a hundred years on cotton paper, the 5-pound note now comes in polymer, a thin, flexible plastic film that makes it stronger, safer and more resistant to counterfeiters. The British central bank introduced the new bill on Tuesday.

from the Lompoc Argus

The five pound note is durable, since made of poly-something;

but the British, I believe, do find it quite the rum thing.

It can patch a tire or scoop up some vindaloo;

clean your teeth like dental floss or play like a kazoo.

Waterproof and micro-chipped, it is a techno-wonder;

edges sharp enough a piece of Stilton it can sunder. 

But since they’ve left the EU, it don’t matter how it’s made;

five pound, ten pound, makes no diff — their money’s in the shade. 

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