I’ve filed for tax breaks from the IRS because, you see,
my backyard is a conservation easement — verily!
The grass is tall and brown and gone to seed so long ago;
the pitcher plants and cockleburrs do naturally grow.
The birds are happy in their nests — there’s one in my garage.
And bats infest the tool shed (since the tools are all mirage).
The cesspool has collapsed into a lovely, murky pond;
cockroaches the size of cats it has just lately spawned.
Reverting back to nature, my backyard is quite unique.
I’ve left the garden hose on to create a little creek.
Mounds of rubbish are composting back to native soil.
And I promise never to start fracking for Big Oil.
This wilderness is palpable and dangerous, you bet —
my wife took out the garbage just last week, and ain’t back yet!
So IRS, give me a break, a tax break I do mean —
for keeping my backyard so primeval and organic green.