From a headline in the Minneapolis Star Tribune:
Workers push for $15 an hour wages at Eden Prairie Kohl’s; locked out
The frost lay thick upon the ground as janitors collected
To ask for living wages, but their plea was full rejected.
The big box overseers sneered to hear their frank request,
Replying that twas folly or some socialistic jest.
“Begone!” they cried from ergonomic thrones inlaid with gold.
“Get back to work and starve until you’re tired, sick, and old!”
They sent the bailiffs out to scatter all the frozen seekers,
Sent the dogs to bite them and to pee upon their sneakers.
Oh, such a sight would rend the heart of any civil soul,
Would bring a tear to Trump himself or any other troll.
The heedless wind blew cold and cruel upon the drifting crowd,
As through the slush and unraked leaves they trod with heads all bowed.
But just when all was darkest and the fifteen dollar wage
Looked to be forgotten like the vanished Vaudeville stage,
An ornament from out the skies came sparkling down, its light
So brilliant that it turned away the murkiness of night.
And in that light the wondering mob beheld a fairy being,
So sleek and svelte and richly clad she ought to be out skiing.
This figure lithesome stepped out to address the workers, and
She smiled upon them lovingly, her skin quite nicely tanned:
“I am the fairy godmother of causes lost and vain”
“I come to you from my vacation back in sunny Spain!”
“Your pleas have been recorded and your suffering wrote down”
“Your wishes shall be granted — there’s no need to wear a frown!”
The crowd was dazzled greatly, and they sent up a great cheer,
Which all the plutocrats in all the box stores had to hear.
Those villains knew when they were licked; they opened up the vaults
To give the workers money (then they took to smelling salts).
May all your wishes like the marching janitors’ come true;
And may your fairy godmother from Spain come visit you —
Bringing justice and a yuletide blessing of good news
(which will include the paying of outrageous union dues)