Some things are so American we just can’t let them die;
malted milks and Slinkies and a frosted Hostess pie.
Oh, I could sing the praises of the Twinkie evermore;
let organic locavores go gnash their teeth and roar!
A childhood without Ding Dongs is as black as dirty coal;
and for a luscious Suzy Q I’d sell my very soul!
If we exported Snowballs ‘stead of guns and soldier boys
the world might be a fatter place, but we’d all have more poise.