I’m offering a workshop that’s unique in ev’ry way —
what’s more, if it don’t work there will be nothing you must pay!
I am the “Blissful Pauper”, and my system cannot flop;
follow it and you will soon be eating breadline slop.
Any fool can tell you how to gather in the cash;
I instead instruct you how to lose it all and crash.
No money means no false friends and no stress with banks and stocks;
you will not have to worry about vaults or guards or locks.
You’ll find how far real charity extends in your sad case;
your character will strengthen as adversity you face.
The benefits of poverty are obvious to all,
and that is why the slums continue their remorseless sprawl.
I myself have profited from indigence and want;
and have negotiated with prosperity . . . Detente!
So sign up for my workshop quick and get the discount rate.
I guarantee a passport to the nearest welfare state!