Forget about your stocks and bonds and others of that ilk;
What you want to buy up now is plenty of cow’s milk.
I’ve been reading in the papers that the price of dairy
On the Chinese mainland is now making Wall Street merry.
Of course the folks who milk the cows will see such little gravy
That their sons and daughters will leave home to join the navy.
But the brokers and investors, who have such milk-white hands
From never doing labor will build houses in posh Cannes.
What with tariffs and the glut of whey upon the market,
I advise you raise great sums and in milk futures park it.
You will never find a better way to fend off rank inflation
Than piling up a million cans of impregnable Carnation!