The Battle of Saint Elmo (from Bob Shaw)

From the Pioneer Press:

Lake Elmo is suing the 3M Corp. — again — for allegedly polluting its water and forcing the city to build a clean-water bypass.

The City Council voted unanimously Tuesday to sue the company after backing out of another suit against 3M in 2013.

“The two lawsuits are very similar,” said Lake Elmo attorney Doug Shaftel. He said the city has been trying to negotiate with 3M for some reimbursement, without success.

The Battle of Saint Elmo was a furious affair.

The trauma was so awful that they mostly lost their hair.

(Although the PFC’s around might cause that too, I swear)


The mighty 3M Company dumped chemicals cavalierly,

causing city water to become polluted, clearly.

(Saint Elmo-ites did say the water from their taps smelled queerly)


The city fathers took the monolith to court to wring

damages enough to cripple any queen or king.

(their lawyers were so happy that they all began to sing)


The case dragged on for years and years, like Dickens wrote about;

till finally Saint Elmo became bankrupt, near about.

(city workers had to be paid off in sauerkraut)


3M has moved away, across the oceans far and wide,

where never are they hassled for producing trichloride.

(and peons who grow second heads must timidly abide)


Those surviving battle now commemorate the clash

by going downtown frequently to panhandle for cash.

(lawyers aren’t the only ones who have to go through trash)


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