You, too, can sell a million copies of your book if cats
solve a crime or have ten lives or put on funny hats.
For cat writers have swept the land, like catnip in a toy;
your library has mountains of their feline books that cloy.
Did Tolstoy use a cat at all — did Dickens have a kitty?
Did P.G. Wodehouse need felines to make his fiction witty?
I know that T.S. Eliot unfortunately wrote
about some cat (but it might just as well have been a goat!)
If your book has got a cat and in whimsy you do robe her
don’t expect me to peruse it — not, at least, when sober.