The Cat’s Pajamas


You, too, can sell a million copies of your book if cats

solve a crime or have ten lives or put on funny hats.

 For cat writers have swept the land, like catnip in a toy;

your library has mountains of their feline books that cloy.

Did Tolstoy use a cat at all — did Dickens have a kitty?

Did P.G. Wodehouse need felines to make his fiction witty?

I know that T.S. Eliot unfortunately wrote 

about some cat (but it might just as well have been a goat!)

If your book has got a cat and in whimsy you do robe her

don’t expect me to peruse it — not, at least, when sober. 

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I don't want to be loved; I just want to be trending.