The Crackpot

I am but a crackpot, just a crank who airs his views

to anyone who might believe it’s actually news.

The moon is made of mustard, and the ocean has no salt;

these are notions I espouse — to me they have no fault.

Election year is my delight; I love the candidates,

and boost each one in turn until they speak of income rates.

I’m all for building pipelines from Jamaica to the Moon;

and want to see a cast of mimes performing “Brigadoon”.

So I’m nuts, I’m cracked, I’m daft — that isn’t any crime;

being so eccentric, I monopolize your time.

Addicted to bad rhyming, I will send you billet doux

in pentameters that don’t scan and always are askew.

Bloggers and reporters: Here I am, lend me your ears!

My input is compelling, though it never quite coheres . . .

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I don't want to be loved; I just want to be trending.