The Desolation of North Carolina

The NBA has moved to pull the 2017 All-Star Game out of North Carolina in response to the state’s controversial Anti-LGBT bathroom law, Yahoo Sports reported Thursday.

Once there was a pleasant land with beaches and green knolls,

filled with meadows sweet with grass and many kindly souls.

Twas a place of courtesy and easy-going ways,

where men and women lived in peace throughout their sun-filled days.

A happier group of people you could never find on earth,

filled with love and kindness and a helping of sweet mirth.

The lawmakers were thoughtful and unambitious for esteem;

they liked to take long naps and go a-fishing in some stream.

But then, alas, intolerance did raise its horrid head,

and like a plague throughout the Tar Heel state it quickly spread.

Somebody wondered where transgender folk went when they peed,

and that precipitated a most bird-brained kind of deed.

For now the creed-bound sticklers mounted high their horses grand 

and like a baneful Paul Revere they rode throughout the land;

spreading woe and worry about such a little point

until the land was full of folk whose nose was out of joint!

The lawmakers were harried till they passed some legislation

making people show ID at ev’ry comfort station.

Without a birth certificate to indicate your sex

you could not enter even though your bladder was convex.

This idiotic charter made her neighbors laugh with scorn,

and so the sad decline of this once proud state now was born.

No NBA in Charlotte, and in Raleigh weeds did grow

in the streets, while Durham lay all silent and fallow.

The countryside’s deserted and the villages decayed;

no one’s earning money, so no taxes now are paid.

Bizness fled and tourists gone — there’s no way to recoup.

And all because fanatics had to tell us where to poop


Published by

I don't want to be loved; I just want to be trending.