Thermostat Wars

From the Wall Street Journal:

Never mind messy desks, noisy colleagues and smelly office kitchens. No workplace dispute is as divisive as where to set the office thermostat. Some 3 in 5 employees tamper with the thermostat without asking colleagues, according to a 2015 survey of 301 employees by Survey Sampling International for OpenWorks, a Phoenix commercial-cleaning company.


The thermostat was set at 69 that summer day,

as office workers piled in to begin their routine fray.

All was quiet for a while, as emails were exchanged

and conf’rence calls were taken and long power points arranged.

But then Sue from Financials felt she couldn’t really bear

having to go out and buy some woolen underwear;

and so she marched right over to the thermostat, toot-suite,

and turned it up to 80 so they all could get some heat.

In a half-an-hour Jason Smith put down his busy mouse,

forgot about the zombies he was fighting round his house,

and snuck up on that thermostat to turn it down a bit —

and that is when the feces with the fan did really hit.

Accounting was ecstatic; but the Sales department roared.

Around the Xerox mobs began to form with raised clipboard.

It looked as if the showdown would proceed to some prostration —

or maybe even wind up with a little defenestration . . .

Just then the mighty manager rose up like deity;

“I’m putting that darn thermostat under lock and key!”

So now the office once again is humming with accord;

and ev’ryone’s productive, sleeping, or just really bored.




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